Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Last Wish

Rajat parents were frustrated with his sudden decisions and his obsession of death . Yes, thats right . Obsession of death , Everday , every hour, every second Rajat polled for death .Its not  because he had some issues in his life. Its because he had lost the charm of life . He thought Death might help him . But the fear that if there is some thing like rebirth then again he would be in the sick cycle of life and death .He used to nonplussed by the thought of rebirth. He always wanted a pristine death . So he started reading a lot about different ways of attaining it . Death was something which fascinated him more than anything in his life. Atlast he was able to get the easiest way out . He injected the fluid inside his body .

And went to his roof top . Looking at stars and talking to several faces within the clouds , he was able to see his family members and friends. He said last good bye to everyone . Now the fluids had started impacting his mind , his body was becoming more and more stiffer . He was unable to open his eyes and even breathe in . He closed his eyes and stopped breathing . Sooner he saw fire all around . He had heard about hell . and now it was his time to be a part of it. But he was still smiling. He walked toward the fire without any fear. As soon as he started crossing that path full of fire, his skin peeled off like a bark. 

Once he crossed fire , it became difficult for him to drag his half burnt body , but he saw a bridge which connects a fire zone with the next level and both these regions were separated with deep dudgeon .He thought of stepping on the bridge and crawl on it . But then he decided to jump into the abyss . It was an abyss with an unfathomable darkness  and no end. His body keep on floating and it was a free fall. All this body parts started breaking into pieces . Still his mind was working . He was now without any fear , his mind was flushed off all the thoughts . He was continuously falling down . Now darkness had shaded himself so much that he was not able to see the darkness.

Suddenly there was a splash of white light .  It was so immense that he was not able to open his eyes. He started hearing some new voices. He tried opening his eyes and move his body but it was damn difficult. Someone he managed to open small aperture of  his eyes, he saw a doctor and lots of people around . But to his surprise , he didnt know anyone nearby and was also not able to understand their language . It took few seconds for him to realize that he has been fucked up . It was a rebirth . He started crying loudly . After a long time , he had cried in this way , he cried and cried and everyone near him laughed at his cries .

Silence Prevails,
Aditya deadpan

Sunday, May 8, 2011

If you want to shine like sun, first you will have to burn like it -Adolf Hitler

Sheetal Bhat on Tuesday, Mar 10, 2009 had an encounter with a kid on the bus stop and below is the discussion and I had some similar experience on May 9, 2011.

Waiting in line at a taco stand for my number to be called
I started talking to a six-year-old kid kicking his little foot against
A curb and waiting for his dad to come out of the bathroom.
                And he said, “Why do you cough so much?”
                And I said, “Because I have cancer.”
                And he said, “Bummer.”
                And I said, “Yep.”
                And he said, “Does it hurt?”
                And I said, “Only when I breathe.”
                And he said, “Why don’t you hold your breath?”
And I puffed out my cheeks like Lois Armstrong and
Let him see it and held it for as long as I could
Before exploding into a hacking eruption of
Stupid sounds and saliva.
                And he laughed.
                And I coughed and laughed.
                And he said, “Feel better?”
                And I said, “A bit.”
And I showed him how much better with my
Thumb and index finger. And pointed at a green thread
of mucous that had dribbled out onto my chin
                He said, “Gross.” And wiping it off
                I said, “Yep.”
                And he said, “My granddaddy had cancer before he died on the hospital.”
                And I said, “You mean in the hospital?”
                And he said, “Yeah on the hospital.”
                And I said, “Oh, yeah?”
                And he said, “He used to give me candy all of the times I ever saw him.”
                And I said, “Sorry kid, I don’t have any candy.”
                And, deflated, he said, “Are you gonna die on the hospital?”
                And I said, “You mean in the hospital?”
                And he said, “Yea, are you gonna die on the hospital?”
                And I said, “Probably.”
                And he said, “OK.”
And, upon giving that gracious consent, the boy’s dad came out and
The boy said, “Well, bye!” And I said, “See ya.”
And he ran off.
And, for a while, between the two of us,
Dying became so very ordinary, like candy or tacos or semantics,
And death itself suddenly just this obnoxious third-wheel
A pitiful nuisance with nothing better to do with his time
Than to tag along with me and this six-year-old kid.
And I sat smiling in the sun and imagining death at the moment,
A sad sack of lonely-self slumped somewhere in the distance,
As I waited for my number to come up.

                          And I replied sheetal's encounter with one quote in the reply mail "Acrophobia is not fear of height , but is the fear that we are gonna hit the ground :-)"

Today for few minutes , I went through a Deja Vu . 

Every morning my cab picks me from my stoppage and every day I watch an old lady , i must say a gracious old lady , in her mid 50's . From her dress up, an immaculately starched cotton saree and a stiff body with not dyed hair , i always felt her to be an english teacher (Somehow patten matching did its job , i had a teacher named "Sharma ma'am" in my Talwara school ). Somehow I always had a urge to talk to her , dont know the reasons for that. Today was my day . I was waiting for my cab and then cab driver called and said that they were struck in traffic and it would take then 20 minutes to reach. I decided to wait on the stoppage. 

Suddenly that lady came on the stoppage along with few kids  and was also waiting for their bus. I told her that about the traffic and their bus also might get delayed. One small girl child was accompanying her . I started talking with her .

Kid asked me about my profession.
I said "I kill people, I am here to eradicate Human race , i am from planet ogo" . 

That lady started laughing  and said "Aren't you a software professional, looks like from your bag that you are carrying laptop" . 

But rather than answering her question , i was interested in the kid's response. 

Kid asked : why do you kill people ? 
I replied  : Because they want to die . I take contracts on my laptop from the people who want to die . 
Kid asked : why they want to die ?
I replied : Say foreg , your dad gives you a Toy . How long will you play with it ? After sometime you want a new toy naa 
Kid said : Yes, you know I have many toys , yesterday also I bought a new one.
      She mentioned one specific cartoon name , which i didn't understand but i shook my head with a long "yeahhh, thats awesome"

I replied : Similarly since you get fed of with old toys and need new one. So for bigger people, life becomes a toy, this body in which their soul resides becomes a dress. And sooner or later they get fed of with it . 

I continued : Then they send me a mail saying that we need a new body And I go and kill them . 

Kid with glazed eyes looked at the teacher and then me and then said : So they become stars and never come back. My parrot also died , did you kill him ?

I was groping for words and that lady was now smiling .

I replied : Yes , few months back I got a mail from your parrot . He was bored with his body and wanted me to give a new body . So I had to kill him.

Kid asked : How does his new body looks like  ?
     I was thinking now i am getting convoluted within my own queries :-) and that lady was still smiling.
I out of the bloom said : Your teacher knows because after I freed your parrot from his body , i gave his soul to your teacher.

Teacher looked at me in a stunned face . 

I was happy that now is my time to talk with her. I asked "ma'am , are you an English teacher ?" . 
Teacher replied : No, i am a philosophy teacher . I teach theology.
       That was another explosion for me . Discussing death and killing with a philosopher , thats like teaching OS to kakkar da . 

I was silent for few minutes , thinking how to change the topic and praying for my cab to come as soon as possible. 

Teacher said to the kid : Disha, tell uncle the story of Nachiketa .

I asked : Ma'am, Nachiketa story was a part of hindoo mythology , how come you teach this is theology . 
Teacher replied : Kids dont understand any religion and they have their own religion of fun, games and stories. 

         My cab came and i had to leave the conversation . Now I know every reason to talk with that lady everyday , conditional everyday our cab struck in traffic :-) and I will be able to listen the story of Nachiketa from that kid.

Silence Prevails,
Aditya Deadpan
कमबख्त 'जिंदा' भी देख सकता था नज़ारे इस जहां के, कि अश्कों के दर्पण में आज भी एक चेहरा खामोश दिखाई देता हैं  !!